Today at lunch, a Chinese colleague of mine was pointing out that he never saw a female smoke the way I do. Didn’t understand what he meant by that. And what does he mean by females are always smoking lights. I am not in the ‘always’ category. I already said I was weird. I don’t do norm. Point taken.

I woke up this morning, feeling fresh, thinking I should get in the office early and do some productive work. After the morning ciggie, I went to take my bath. In the bathroom was a pailful of laundry I soaked last night. I stopped for a minute and stared blankly at it. Then I tried my best to ignore it and continued my bath. My first productivity for the day. At the office, I cleaned my desk (cleaning: picking up a huge mass of stray papers and stacking them back, but this time in a nicer and neater order of stack), dumped half of the papers that might be of future use but I have no wish of ever looking at again, sat down, checked my mail and friendster, then remembered I have to be productive. So I went to photocopy some documents for no particular reason or use, made a couple of phone calls, got negative responses, felt depressed, and decided enough productivity for the day. Went outside to smoke. 3 sticks.

Good news though, pay’s in. At least I could take baby out for dinner for a change.

I wanna go home.

Fact: You can be happy, but only for a certain amount of time. That’s when the cruel reality of life seeps back into your system and makes you dumb again.

I wanna be married. I was talking to a friend who’s getting married next month earlier, and she said it’s kinda just like a license to FCUK. Kinda true. Can sloppy-kiss and grab whatever in the middle of a crowded mall on Sunday afternoon. I wanna display the cert on the dashboard, park somewhere very very public like by the roadside in the middle of KL in bright sunlight and ‘just do it!!’. That’ll be cool. Or have real LOUD s*x at places where there are old ‘pakcik’ and ‘makcik’ as neighbours, leave the door open, and wait for the look on the ‘JAIS’ ppl’s faces when they come. Haha. I am evil.